we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I need to align my fucking chakras
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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