After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
