Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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