And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
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can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
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Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Randomize