We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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