Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
