Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Be still, my beating vagina.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
