He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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