I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
