Did I show you my penis last night?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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