The maid of honor just puked.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
