I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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