google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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