I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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