I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
