david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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