So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
