I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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