im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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