Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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