I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I met the friendliest cop last night
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
