I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
