Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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