watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
