Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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