Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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