if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
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Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
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Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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