I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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