We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
