I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
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theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
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When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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