I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Vodka?
Forever.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
