Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
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then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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