you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked and annoyed.
I am available for nakedness
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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