Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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