the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
