Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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