I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
