He is such a slut. More and more my type.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
