dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
