So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
