oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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