I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
