Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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