In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
