I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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