Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
