just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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