I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
How does it feel to date your dad?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
