two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
