I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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