at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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