I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
