if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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