3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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