Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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