5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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