Already got asked if we're dating
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
