She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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